Empaths Are an Energetic Magnet for Narcissists

Empaths and narcissists often find themselves in a magnetic, but ultimately harmful, dynamic due to their opposing energetic frequencies and psychological needs.

Empaths are born into a world where they intensely sense and feel everything around them; often tuning into the unspoken energies in their environment.

Empaths are highly attuned to others’ emotions. They feel deeply, are often nurturing, and instinctively want to help, heal, or understand.

Narcissists, contrarily, crave validation, control, and attention. They see relationships transactionally. Always seeking the next best conquest or prize, in an effort to increase external validation or superficial status approval.

Empaths are conditioned, especially during formative years, to put others needs before their own. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, are attuned to others unspoken desires, and want to find a way to lessen the pain others experience. They give endlessly and often have difficulty setting boundaries.

Narcissists are born with their own unique wounding — feeling innately unlovable, empty, and often have experienced abuse, neglect or abandonment in their younger years. Their emotional responses or vulnerabilities were mocked or dismissed by their earliest caretakers. As a result, they develop strong defense mechanisms, and build high walls to ward off deep emotional connection or reliance on others. This is displayed in their need for constant admiration, control, and how they avoid vulnerability at all costs.

Narcissists and empaths differ profoundly in how they relate to themselves, others, and the world. These differences lie in emotional wiring, self-concept, boundaries, and motivation in relationships.

This polarity is not healthy “yin and yang”, but rather a trauma-bonded charge that mimics intimacy while draining the empath and reinforcing the narcissists patterns.

Energy flows outward from an empath. Giving endlessly to others and prioritizing the needs of others; often ahead of their own. Conversely, a narcissist requires energy to flow inward — requiring emotional fuel to reinforce their own fragile ego. This provides them a temporary sense of feeling powerful or worthy.

Energetically, narcissists are naturally pourous, they feed on emotional energy but do not replenish it. Empaths are energetically open, which can mean they absorb the narcissists pain, projections, or emotional intensity without clear boundaries.

The polarity in personality between an empath and a narcissist creates a push-pull dynamic which is imbalanced and creates a power differential.

The empath gives. The narcissist takes.

The empath nurtures. The narcissist manipulates.

Empaths believe they can love someone into healing. Narcissists believe the existence of others is to meet their needs.

An empath has a fluid sense of self, often shaped by others’ emotions and needs. They can lose touch with their own desires and boundaries, especially in relationships.

A narcissist has a fragile or inflated sense of self that’s built on external validation. Deep insecurity is hidden beneath a façade of superiority or confidence.

This often feeds into co-dependency and a vicious cycle of give and take; where an empath feels energetically drained and a narcissist feels temporarily energized. The sad reality is that neither party feels satisfied in their quest for connection, trustful intimacy, and safety.

A narcissist often seeks out people who have the emotional capacity and attunement of an empath. Deep feelers, thinkers and unwavering emotional depth. These qualities are ones that a narcissist desperately wants to have, but does not have the self-awareness or capacity to hone. To lessen their sense of internal emptiness, they extract the energy from an empath, draining the empath of their most beautiful capacities. This gives a narcissist a very immediate and short-lived sense of fulfillment.

This period is not sustainable because a narcissist can not maintain this positive energetic force on their own. They only feel the benefits after they have drained the empath of their innate resources.

The energetic hook is created and reinforced by an empaths unconscious belief that they will be safe, valued or chosen if they can heal or love someone enough. They keep trying to love, to heal, to nurture a narcissistic partner whose only intent is to not feel inferior or abandoned and does not have the emotional capacity for reciprocity or vulnerability.

The harder an empath tries to heal, the further the narcissist retreats.

The empath may feel emotionally hijacked, energetically drained, or disoriented — questioning their own reality and if they are actually at fault. The narcissist may become more entitled, reactive, or dismissive as their energetic dominance grows unchecked.

This dynamic can become a trauma loop | familiar, intense, and hard to leave, even when it hurts.

Even after leaving a toxic relationship that depletes a healthy persons energetic reserves; the imprint of the trauma stays.

Emotional abuse and recovery from surviving toxic relationships starts with education and awareness. Noticing red flags and not dismissing them. Listening to your intuition — your gut. Understanding that not everyone wants to or has the capacity to heal. Sensing when your energy reserves are completely depleted around certain people and embracing the people that recharge you.

Emotional energy has limits; it is vital to honor your energetic capacity.